PONDERING                                                            11/17/14

Dear Family,

The cold has come.  We are enjoying a nice high of 20 degrees today with strong winds out of the south. so we are pretty cold here, and today is the one year anniversary of the Tornado... and it was not this cold last year when we were doing tornado clean up. so it seems like it will be a cold winter.

There is the is man we always talk to when we come into the library, sister Henderson and I always called him the chicken man because he always sits in the front and eats a whole bucket of KFC chicken while he has his earphone plugged in. Anyways,, for the longest time we thought he was homeless, because he kinda looks like it, but then recently we saw him leaving the library and he got into the nicest car in the parking lot. it was so funny, and so surprising. anyways, today he is wearing his pajama bottoms and a "Washington strong" shirt, that many people have and are probably wearing because of the tornado anniversary. he is a really friendly guy and so funny.  it just teaches me a lesson bout how we should never judge someone by the way they appear, and not to make up judgments of what we think their walk of life is.  I think what is so powerful and interesting is that heavenly Father provides experiences in life to teach us the same lessons over and over again.

I am loving the experience of training, I love being able to bear my testimony of this work so boldly and surely to someone who is so new and unsure, and still trying to find their way. It has brought me to think a lot about the wonderful blessings and experiences I have received  and how I desire those same experiences and feelings for her. she has truly grown so much in this short time we have been together and I am so proud of her.

On Saturday Sister Gappmayer called us and asked us to prepare to give our testimony in relief society because the lesson was on missionary work.  sister Sullivan went first and was very honest in her testimony about how it was hard and she felt unsure about the experience, but the spirit was there and I was just so happy for her. Speaking in general to new people is a hard task for her, but she is truly coming out of her shell and allowing her personality to show. her testimony almost brought me to tears, because of how much she has grown, even though It has been hard for her. it has caused me to think back to the beginning  of my mission and look back on all the ways I have grown and the difficult challenges I have faced, grateful for them because they have all been worth it to me.

I didn't think I would be so emotional to have this experience end, but I think about all the people  I love here in Illinois and how I don't want to leave them. I just want to stay here with them and just sit and watch as they grow and become greater disciples of Christ.

We have been privileged to teach Destiny Sutton. She is a sweet girl, who lives over in Washington, IL and has a great desire to learn the gospel. she wants to be baptized she just wants to make sure it is the right thing, in one week she read to 1 nephi 13 and is still reading strong. She has a great way of restating everything we teach her in her own words, so we know she is understanding and what she is not understanding. It is so wonderful to meet people who have such a desire, and I love helping them understand the power of their faith. and encourage them as they try to act on it. one of the greatest things I have learned from teaching the gospel is that we, as mortal men, are afraid to sacrifice and so we pull back or we stop ourselves. I know that the blessings and the love we want and need from our Heavenly Father are just on the other side of that bump and despite our doubt and fear, we need to trust that he will provide. I testify that he will, he always provides and he always shows his love. I know these things are true, I know "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven" the sooner we receive of those blessings the sooner we will feel our burdens lifted and our load lightened.

This week I asked the Elders for a blessing, I had been struggling with a few things and it was one of the most powerful blessings I have ever received. I felt the love and embrace from our Heavenly Fathers so powerfully and tangibly, yet it is hard to describe. It is funny because before I received it I felt the spirit prompt me and teach me some of the things I would be counseled about in my blessing, and I didn't share them with anyone, and those very things were mentioned and my mind was enlightened as I listened to the words that were spoken and the feelings I had. I felt a greater ability to face those challenges and my heart was calmed as I was reassured that the tools I have to do these things would suffice, and that I could place my trust in them.  I knew then, as I know now, that God loves me. He is aware of me and is always mindful. He desires for our success and the enabling power of the Atonement is what brings us that strength and faith that we can do the things we know we should do, even when it is hard.

Sister Sullivan is really sad that I am going home. Getting a new companion for her will be a hard change, but I have reassured her that I will be a support and strength for her. I want her to feel successful and happy, but I have also testified of the trials that are ahead of her. Today and tomorrow and Wednesday we are going on exchanges with the Sister Training Leaders, and she is really nervous about it. she will be great.

We taught this guy Davtone this week, and he is really interesting, he is so paranoid about things in the media and signs and symbols.  He believes that the Luminoti (sp?) is back and all these weird things. he likes to ramble a lot and so we get to see a lot of his fears, anyways we had a very powerful lesson with him about the restoration and at the end he said he needed to fast and pray about these things.  The greatest part is he understands the significance and importance of the message and how he will have to change his life if he comes to know that it is true. So we are praying and hoping that he will do his part and come to know these things.

We got our car back on Friday and so for two days we had two cars!! it was awesome!! I would smile and look at sister Sullivan and say "which car should we drive this time?!" haha it was fun. Now the elders have the truck again till Wednesday. so I attached a picture of me and the two cars! pretty fun! and of course I took a photo-shoot in the truck! I love that truck! :) so much fun this week.

I just want to please the Lord. I just want to do his will. I just want to work hard to the end. I just want to have the spirit in my life for the rest of my life and be led as I have been. I just want to never leave Illinois (except for maybe a few months when it is cold) I just want to be a consecrated missionary. I just want to see miracles and have my testimony strengthened ten fold. I just want to be a missionary forever.. "I want, I want I want!, me ME MEE  NOW! NOW! NOW!!!"  Why are we as natural men, so prone to sin and transgression, when we desire so much more of our selves and for our selves? it is our natural state to make mistakes and to aspire for things greater than ourselves. And OH How Great! the goodness of our Lord that he atoned for us. OH HOW GREAT his love and wisdom.

This church is true. The Book of Mormon is true. Joseph Smith is a prophet of God.  Gods authority is on the earth. Families can be together forever. Our Savior Lives, and loves us.

What else do you need in life? 

I love you all, I thank you all for everything. I love this work, I am sitting here crying like a baby because I have to come home.  ( not because I don't love you , but because I have to leave.)

Love,

Sister O'Neil

MADELYN!! my little NIECE.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I cant believe you are 9 years old!! I am so happy! YAAY!! I love you and I will see you in a few days!  have a safe trip to California!  ( your bday present is a big hug from me!! hahah lucky you!! )

love you!

Dear Family!     11/10/14    A   TRUCK! Yes! that is right! We get to drive a truck for the next week!! I have been SO excited about this! I don't even know why I love it so much, it is just fun to go from a Toyota corolla to a truck!! it is AWESOME!! We dropped our car off at the shop to be fixed this morning because someone walked on it. haha I think I told you about that a few weeks ago, anyways.. it is great! Sister Sullivan can tell you! I have been SO excited! Sunday was so good! I have really come to realize (again) how much I love singing. like.. so much! I am so grateful for my talents. :) Sister Crespo asked me to sing at their Christmas party, and I said I wouldn't be able to and she said "WHAT! your being transferred?!" and I said, YEP! back home... haha" on Monday we went to the Wys families home. theya re awesome! and I am not really sure why they are not active anymore.. anyway, Sister wys (Janet, the mom) her DREAM is to come to the rose parade, so I told her about our connection to it and so she has prepared a list of questions to ask me! I told her she should come this year, because I would be there. I was sure to mention I would be busy but that I could help them! hahahha she is excited. and then her daughter Tammy Wys knows Cinnamon McNeil ( wendys friend) so we shared that little connection.. ( so Wendy when you read this tell Cinnamon, tammy says hi!) haha I told her all about Jills fascination with her and how for like a whole year she kept telling Wendy how she wanted to meet her. It was awesome. (the Mormon world is so small!)  Tammy lived in Burbank for like 4 years. Anyways they are awesome and they came to church on Sunday! that was so exciting!  and so many people welcomed them and were so glad to see them! that's the way it always is, the church is so true! :) Tuesday we went to New missionary training in Naperville! it was the best training meeting I have ever been to. they truly are the best meetings in the mission. and I was so grateful that I was there. it was awesome, President was so goofy and just happy, and gave us some of the best advice. and then he provided snacks for us, and sister fenn was out of town, so he got us dunkin dounuts and just tons of food! it was hilarious. haha anyway, he ate a donut and then half way through the meeting he left again, didn't really think much of it, and then came back and he proceeded to teach us for 3 hours, and HE WAS HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!! he had gone home to give himself an epi-pen.  I was so amazed. he sacrifices so much for us. and to do the will of the lord, I love his example and I am So eternally grateful I was able to serve under his direction and to feel of his love.  he is strong! "im stong like bull" - P. Fenn. haha I think the funniest part was when the tornado siren went off... (it was the first Tuesday of the month so it is when it always goes off) but he stood up and boldly said " ive been here long enough to know what that is.... its the first Tuesday of the month.. which means, RUSSIA IS DROPPING A BOMB ON US!!  EVERYBODY RUN!!!" hahahahaha!! it was hilarious then he goes " Sister Fenn isint here, I can be a little immature.. DONT YOU TELL HER!!" hhaha  and I am positive these new missionaries were half terrified and half kinda amused and then just didn't know how to react. hahah I just remember how terrified I was of President when I came into the mission, so I cant imagine what I would have done if he had done that when I was as new as Sister Sullivan. hjahahaha so hilarious. SO FUNNY!! I love him! ahh it was such a good meeting! I wish I could have gone to more of them as a missionary.  Wednesday I taught in district meeting. it was good. I talked about the importance of self critical analysis and the difference between self-analysis and self-degradation. I have learned a lot about that as a missionary, so it was a good exercise to put all my learning together and try to present it and lead a discussion. it was led by the spirit, that's all I can say. I loved it. I felt so proud of sister Sullivan, she was asked to talk about faith all by her self. She did a great job despite her nervousness. it was a very good discussion! On Sunday we gave a church tour after church. It was amazing!! It was to Destiny, and she is now a new investigator, she accepted to be baptized this month! so we are now going to help her work towards that. she is seriously so ready and so golden! its amazing! and the tour went well and then we taught her again that day more about prayer and moroni's promise. she is great!! and she agreed to read an pray! It has been a humbling experience to be a trainer, she has good questions that keep me on my toes. and I have to really help her and push her to get out of her quiet comfort zone. but she is doing well. its great! I love Sister Sullivan so much! we are off to go to the caterpillar museum! we are excited! I have been wanting to go there since I served in Pekin, so I am excited! love you lots! #16days. <--- that is CRAZY!! READ YOUR SCRIPTURES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS! HELP OTHERS! LOVE OTHERS! GO TO THE TEMPLE! I forgot all about this funny experience!! when we went to teach Desitny the second time yesterday, we met at the Carters home. and they have two BIG FAT CATS!! haha anyway as we were teaching the lesson the cats were climbing over the table and our books where we were reading from.. kinda annoying.but it worked out.. BUT THEN!! at the end of the lesson, we invited Destiny to pray and in the middle of the prayer I had my head bowed.. right.. and the cat CLIMBED on top of me!! I was trying to hard to shake it off and then I would just climb higher. it was so funny!! and something I never expected! haha so awesome!
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Rejoice, oh my heart! 11/3/14 Dearest family, my heart is full today!  I love our Heavenly Father. He answers prayers, sees our efforts and helps us when we need it. i just love what i do, and wish it didn't have to end so quickly. This week was great! we talked to SO many people and invited a lot, but didn't teach full lessons really. but it was great! We went out to Princeville- this cute little town in our area, and we talked to this lady Tammy, who know so much of the truth! it was amazing. she just was so friendly and so kind and told us about her story and there was so much that she said to us that were truths of the plan of salvation. so i told her, that there was so much truth in what she shared with us and that we had the answers to the missing pieces and that our message would bless her etc. etc. and she gave us her number, so we are going to see her this week. She is amazing! Ok so recently I haven't been like myself, so i have been praying that Heavenly Father would help me feel more myself - just my improved self. and so since then i have been having THE HARDEST time with English. haha seriously. I will say something that is three thoughts in one, and it really makes no sense but it is HILARIOUS!! for example. this week we went to have a new member lesson with Linda. Every time we go to her house and nock her dogs bark. well our appointment was at about 10:00 in the morning, and sometimes linda doesn't get up until later.. so we went to nock and the dogs didn't bark. so she nor the dogs heard us.. so we waited there and i decided that i would ring the door bell. As i went to ring it i commented to Sister Sullivan " i don't think the dogs heard us bark."    i paused and then just started laughing. hahaha it was hilarious! i just imagined us standing at her door step barking. haha obviously i was trying to say " i don't think the dogs heard us KNOCK." haha it was awesome. I hope its not one of those" you had to be there" situations. last Monday we carved pumpkins for Halloween celebrations! I attached a picture! #mormonnerd. it was a fun activity with sister Sullivan! and then for Halloween we had permission to go to a members home to watch a movie. so the Gappmayers invited us over and we watched 17 Miracles. It was so good! i loved it and cried. I love the Gappmayers. they are one of my favorite families out here and just amazing. she made us homemade butternut squash soup - that had the MOST delicious Thai twist. :) it was heaven! and we helped make an apple crisp. It was a great Halloween. They only got one group of trick or treators. _have i told you they live on a lake? well it is really pretty, and we went down to their little dock. it is SO BEAUTIFUL.. i want to buy their house. it is so cool. Ok Saturday and Sunday were my favorite days this week. - i feel like they always are. they are the best! - so we had stake conference this week, so i was able to see a lot of people from Pekin. it was great. There were some people that didn't come and i was really sad i didn't get to see them. but i will again soon... some how..  i was able to see sister Oliphant, probably the last time i will see her until we are both home. kinda sad. :(  but she is doing well and has blossomed so much. I was commenting to Sister Sullivan that i just see a greater amount of confidence in her and it makes me so happy. i love her so much. I received the most wonderful news at conference. I talked with brother and sister Smallwood from the Pekin ward, and they told me about Sister Haynes. Sister Haynes is sister Smallwoods mother and we met with her for a long time while i was in Pekin, because her only goal was to become active enough to go to the temple. So we wanted to help her. For 4 weeks we called her ever night to encourage her to go to bed at 10:00pm so that she could wake up everyday at 8:00 so that when Sunday came she could wake up for Church.  we strived to help her see Church as the end goal every day of the week. some days I just wanted to give up because she would purposely not answer her phone because she knew it was us. and for 3 weeks she didn't come to church, and she finally did my last sunday in the Pekin ward. It made me so happy. So after all of this, i left the area and didn't really think much would happen with her, (how sad is that.. "oh ye of little faith!") And Guess what! Sister Haynes went through the temple on the 25th of October!! I was so happy!!   I could believe it. If nothing else it has really given me a testimony of being consistent and persistent, and that truly no efforts we put forward, to bring others to Christ, are ever wasted. It is all worth it. it is truly a blessing to see these efforts bless others lives, and it was something i didn't have to wait for the eternities for. I am so happy!! on Saturday before stake conference we went and "chalked the walk." There is a path behind our apartment building that many people use, so we decided it would be good to draw the plan of salvation out on this, so we did. We talked to this old couple briefly, but they weren't really interested and kinda looked at us weird. haha but over all it was a great experience. Dailie and Eliza Jeffs came with us. They are awesome. i love them so much. I love the Jeffs family. speaking of them. I will be singing with Eliza next week in church and dailie will play the piano for us. We are singing the Olive tree. Should be good! they are awesome. ok well lots of finding people to do! i love you all! thank you so much for your love and support! I love being here!  Ask to see the lords hand in your lives. there are so many tender mercies we will let you see if only we ask. "ask and ye shall receive"  "Bark and it will be opened unto you." haha ok maybe that was sacrilegious... sorry. haha love you!! love,  Sister O’Neil

/10/27/14

. Happy People are Spiritual.

Hello family!!

well this week we had a little bit of a pre-Halloween with lots of blood! Sister Sullivan had 3 extremely BAD nose bleeds this week, that lasted for like 40 minutes each, and it was incredible. I was so fascinated by the whole thing because I had never seen someone's nose bleed like hers did. I was also probably really intrigued as well because I have never had one. so it was so weird. anyways, I attached a picture for you all to see..:) hahaha she is a good sport about it all.. I guess It happens a lot to her, so it was nothing new..

We have been working hard, and sometimes, most of the time,  it never feels like it is enough or that we satisfy others demands, or what we THINK they desire of us.. most of the time our perception is wrong about what other people think of us. anyways, so it can be little bit stressful and hard to "measure up" and I just have to keep pushing myself and not become defeated. Its a great stretching activity!  y'all should try it! :) haha

before I forget, Patricia is doing well. She came to church, and she helped one of the Elder's investigators, who is blind, around church. It was great to see her serve others and help them she is the best! I seriously Love Patricia!  we had a good lesson with her this week that lifted our spirits. thank you for your prayers, they have been answered. She really opened up to us and told us a lot about the trials she has had in her life and all that hse has been throught. it is overwhelming. and then to look at her and see how strong she is, it is amazing. I know it was only because of the Lord that she is in the place she is in. She has really come a long way and is being healed through the gospel. it is amazing to watch.

When sister Henderson was here we were looking for some places we could do community service and volunteer, so we found this place in Chillicothe called Helping Hands. It is a volunteer run second-hand thrift store that is Christian based but non-denominational, and we would be going there to help sort and organize. oooook. so we finally got back in there to get the info and ask them when we could come and help and they invited us to come on Saturday. side note- Chillicothe is a 30 minute drive north, and a lot of miles, so we try not to go there more than once a week. anyways.. We get up there to start our shift and the lady Chris says to us "while you volunteer here you have to take off your name tags." ... ummm what?? I am 95% positive my jaw dropped in front of her. hahahha I was in disbelief. I have NEVER been asked to do that, so I wasn't really sure how to respond. she went on to say " we are interdenominational here and so you will have to remove them."  so I calmly said to her " we don't take our name tags off for anything. We are representatives of Jesus Christ and we wear them so that others can recognize us." She cut me off and said "well we are too! but you will have to take them off... you can put them under your sweater!"  I explained to her that we would not actively proselyte or teach others while we volunteered at their organization out of respect, but she just responded with "well you will just have to wear them under your sweater"  ... LADY!!!  THAT IS Like Not wearing it at all!! hahahahaha!!  seriously! ( I didn't say that.. I just thought it..)  At this point all the workers around us  ( about 5 or 6) stopped to watch this discussion, because she was really snippy and short and rotten with us. it was sad that she felt so strongly about this. But we just kinda stood there and told her we would not remove our name tags and that we were sorry that their organization had such restrictions that we could not offer our helping hands. I gave her our info again and said if they ever felt like they needed additional help they could call us.  I think I was in shock for a few moments after that experience, I think mostly I was just sad that someone was asking me to hide who I am. I wondered about if we had been a nun or Muslim or some other obvious religious or cultural belief if she would have asked them to do the same, to remove entirely or partially .  to me my name tag is part of my armor. Its a part of who I am right now and I am dreading the day that I have to take it off. I was really grateful for that opportunity to boldly defend who I am and not

this week I read an article on either Mormon newsroom or lds.org (I cant remember) but it talked about happiness and the 10 charactersistics of happy people. I relaly loved this article and the quote at the very end from Man's search for Meaning.

"Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself. He may turn personal tragedy into triumph." Its all about ATTITUDE!! it always about our attitude, which is something we control. it is a choice we make. and we have the help of the lord to change it when it is hard to.

We are off to carve pumpkins! I didn't do it last year, so  I am determined to this year. We have our trunk or treat on Wednesday and then on Friday for Halloween we are going to the Crespos home to use their home theater to watch a church movie. It is super nice like the White's home. :) they are so nice to let us come and use it. :)

I am so excited, next week is Stake conference here so I am eager to see some ward members from Pekin! I am excited for them to come and so that I can see them!  woot! it will be great! :)

that's all folks!

love you all!

have a great week!

love,
Sister O'Neil  

10/20/14

Dear family,

We’re going where?
Guess where I am going right now?! That's right! BEAUTIFUL NAUVOO!
We got a text from the zone leaders on Thursday telling us that we
would be going today,  and so here we go! I am so happy about this. I
didn't think I would get to go again to Nauvoo while a missionary, but this is
so great! Such a tender mercy.
Speaking of tender mercies, I have seen many great mercies from the
lord this week. It has been such a wonderful week! I have noticed that
with this responsibility of being a trainer I have felt a greater abundance of the spirit
with me, and it has been such a blessing. I have learned so much and
have done a lot of reflecting about the beginning of my mission and
how much I have grown and come to understand things that I never
thought I would understand.  Having a new companion, I have been
reminded of all the fears and anxieties I had as a new missionary and
I have loved thinking back on all my experiences to see how each one
helped me mature and grow. It's really neat.  I hope more of these
opportunities to reflect back will present themselves through out my
life, and I hope you will look at your lives.  I love being able to
see the potential heavenly fathers saw in me and how applying the
process of the gospel has shaped me to become a stronger disciple of
Christ.

 Now I am in the middle of Iowa, traveling back. So for a few moments I
am west of the Mississippi, that much closer to home... And now we are
crossing back.  :) #missionaryforlife #idontwanttoleave #thatsgoodcuzidonthaveto...yet!
Nauvoo was great and amazing. I love the temple so much. It was such a
blessing to be there and be in those holy walls and learn from the spirit. It is such a joy and privilege in my life to be in the service of my fellow brothers and sisters, in and outside the temple. But I LOVE Nauvoo! seriously. I will attach some pictures.

so I started this email this morning, and now I am going to finish...

This week has been pretty good. It has not been a normal "missionary week" (well at least that is what I keep telling sister Sullivan) because she has been sick, so we have been trying to help her get some rest and health back, and then today we went to Nauvoo.

Anyways, we had to drop a couple of our investigators, so we are back to the beginning, working hard through members and tracting etc. to try and find some people to teach. Sister Henderson and I had met this lady last week and we went to teach her last night in hopes that she would become a new investigator. The lesson went ok, until about the 1st vision. people either love it or hate it. It was so weird because every time we tried to tell her about the vision she would ask a question or something, and we couldn't get to it. DARN SATAN!! he always gets in the way! but what it came down to was that she thought we had to pray through our prophet to strengthen our relationship with Christ, and today in the temple it was just SO CLEAR to me how important a prophet really is. I love the temple. so much. also it was like a fulfilling of the feelings I had during conference. I felt like they were preparing us for battle by fortifying our testimonies of prophets and encouraging us to pray etc. and then we went to battle last night. it ended with her inviting us to her church and she kept asking us "what is your purpose in coming here?" and she would not stay quiet long enough for us to respond.. so annoying. but its all good! she gave us referrals!! :) woot! so we are going to stop by them! 

Sunday was a really hard day. we always try to call linda and patricia to help them come to church - because they both still struggle with it a little bit.. and so we had called patricia and she was not very happy. then about two hours later she sent us a text about how she felt we were overwhelming her and she felt pressured.. and all these negative things, she said she was thinking about not being a member anymore and it broke my heart. I just sat down and cried for a while because of how hard other people exercise of agency can be sometimes. for a few minutes I felt like a total and complete failure and that all our efforts were pointless. and then I snapped out of it. The lessons that day were about reverence and I received so many comforting feelings from the things people said and the prayers others prayed. they were in tune with the spirit. And I just hope and pray she will have a softened heart again and not get off the path. She came to church at the very end to do her visiting teaching and I gave her a big hug and told her I loved her. I hope she knows that I meant it with all my heart. please pray for her. she needs it. :)

the church is true! have to run, we don't have any more time. but here are a couple of pictures from today!

I love you so much! thank you for your prayers and love.

training is hard, but so good! I really do love it. sometimes I forget she is new.. haha oops!! haha

love you!

Sister O'Neil

10/13/14

You may be wondering why my subject title this week is all about President Fenn.  Well for any missionary in the Illinois Chicago West Mission on the night of transfer calls, knows that when that name appears on the phone as the person calling who will determine your fate, you know it's a big deal.  Well, sure enough it was President on the phone and he told Sister Henderson her fate, that she is being transferred away to the Schaumburg YSA and that I Sister O'Neil will be... I don't know if I should tell you.. I am so nervous about it, and truly humbled, ... but...  I will be a trainer for a brand new missionary for the last six weeks.  So, As many other missionaries say,  "im having a baby!"... Haha this will be an adventure. I am so so excited, but also extremely nervous and humbled. Truly, I don't feel prepared for this, but I feel prepared at the same time... I view it as a great honor that the Lord and President Fenn trust me enough to place this responsibility on my shoulders and I hope I can do my best. In some many ways it is an answer to my prayers, because I want to be a more consecrated missionary, and I know this will push me to work harder and become better to reach that goal. I told president that I would do my best, and work hard and thanked him. So tomorrow we go up to Naperville to drop off Sister Henderson and meet my new companion. Another thing that is kinda freaking me out a little is that there are only two English sisters coming in this transfer. Out of all the sisters, I was chosen as one, and I can think of 10 sisters who, in my view, have much more experience and are more confident in helping new missionaries, but I have been comforted by the knowledge that "whom the Lord calls he qualifies." I need to trust in that. Yay for all the good news. :) It's gonna be great! I am excited! 

I am so grateful for this week of my mission. First I just want to say, that I am so grateful for these last three transfers I have served around other missionaries and in the Peoria ward. Yesterday was a somewhat sad day at church, because 3 of these missionaries are transferring out, and many members were sad, bishop had them bare their testimonies, and I just realized how grateful I am for this season of my mission and life. I was tempted to be sad that change was happening, but then I just focused on the blessing it has been that the lord has allowed for us to work together and enjoy one another.  I was so happy!! I AM so happy! I hope we will stay good friends and keep these awesome memories. The church is true!! 

 On Friday we had an awesome experience and opportunity to go to a mission conference with Elder Robert C. Gay of the seventy. He is a special witness of Jesus Christ and had so many awesome, AWESOME things to tell us. I loved what he and president taught us, " the work of salvation is the work of healing." We as missionaries, and you as members, are working together to heal Gods children. We are the means (3 Nephi 18:32) and the Book of Mormon is our tool, evidence and power to get the job done! He compared our time, to the story of the brother of Jared who desired to bring his family and people to the promised land ( AKA eternal life, the celestial kingdom , to live with God... You name it :) ). The brother of Jared needed revelation and counsel with the lord to know what he should do for light in the barges, well His help comes in only one way: believing in the impossible and seeking for the truth. So we know, the brother of Jared went to the lord and presented his plan and they received light. Now he helped us to think of our efforts as missionaries and how our tool of the Book of Mormon is no different than the stones for the brother of Jared. Both come from the earth, both are new and weird to the people, and maybe they are not as easily accepted by the people. But in ether 3:2&4 we learn the importance of studying it out and then asking for a miracle to happen. And our study combined with our faith move the work forward, it teaches us all things we should do, and brings the power of the Lord into our lives to get us where we need to go. Ahh! There is so much good stuff. I know what he taught us is true. And I know these principles can be applied to any calling we serve in in the church. There are miracles we hope to see in the lives of others, and greater efforts we want to put forward, because we love the lord.  As we focus on the the importance of the atonement, and testify of it, more than anything else, we help to heal people. We teach them how to open their hearts and FEEL the power of love change them and bring them light, truth, hope and HEALING. I know that it is when we are healed, we are truly converted, because we feel of His great love, and will do anything to feel it constantly in our lives. Talk to people's lives, because how we teach ( or lead, or guide, or comfort, or serve ) is just as important as what we teach. I want to add my favorite scripture here: " wherefore my beloved [family], pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that he may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen." (Moroni 7:48) 

It was really neat be a use he shared a lot of stories with us from his mission, and his time as a mission president, and as he was telling us a story, I realized I had heard it before and I could not figure out where I had heard it. Thinking I had heard it on my mission I asked sister Oliphant, Bailey and Henderson if I had heard it with them, because they were my comps. And then I realized that he had come to BYU-I while I was there and told the same story. It was really neat, and awesome to hear it again. He shared with us some of his personal experiences working with the quorum of the 12 and the first presidency, and they were really neat to hear about. At the end of his discourse he said something so profound to me, and as I have pondered this I realize that putting our trust in the lord is so much more than what I thought it was, and there are so many blessings. This inspires me to want to be more consecrated and I hope it will for you to. He said: "Focus on the Lords priorities and He will focus on yours." So cool!!

Sister Henderson asked an awesome question to him about personalities, and how we can know ourselves when we are changing so much as missionaries and people... ( I think she is going through a toughy, trying to really know and understand who she is right now, she has been asking everyone this question.) anyways, she asked this question, and I am so grateful she did because I learned so so much from his answer and I know many other missionaries did as well. Basically he taught us that we are each given characteristics, qualities and talents that are similar to others.  It is how we use our agency to use those qualities that makes us unique and gives us personality. Everyone's experiences on this journey of life are different, and we learn best in different ways, no one is the same. This makes my mind go wild with so many examples I could list! So cool!!  I loved what he said, that the lord blesses us with feelings of commonality with others, and as I thought about that, I have realized how easy it is for satan to warp that, and makes us believe that we are just like everyone else and not special. But that is obviously false! Don't listen to him! I think the Lord blesses us with commonalities so that we can have the feelings of belonging and we are able to comprehend others based on the degree that we are like them. We are unique, but we are the same, and most of us have the same desire to do good and be good. ( basically be disciples of Christ, but the rest of the world doesn't realize that is what they want. :) hahaha ) 

This week we saw Meet the Mormons! SO GOOD! I cried and laughed and felt the spirit. I hope you all got to see it. It is so moving and so inspiring. It even made ME want to be Mormon! Hahahahahaha :). Seriously though, the first presidency directed the movie and was in charge of it, don't know if you knew that. The assistants instructed us about the significance of this movie and how it is a fulfilling of prophesies. So cool! The work is moving forward! :) 

We had FHE with some members this week, and for some reason they gave us marriage advice. There have been a lot of conversations with members that have led to dating, marriage, and babies it's been really weird and brought a lot of anxiety to Sister Henderson. Which brought its challenges.

Oh! Ok so this weekend was awesome! On Saturday we went to loaves and fish, saw some of my favorite people, and listened to them gossip about each other yeah that is always fun. I have been working on one of them, baring my testimony here and there to help her. Anyways, that's not why it was a awesome, it was awesome because we went to s baptism and we have been telling others that we had a baptism! Let me explain, the zone leaders baptized Daphne, she is so cool, 17 and her boyfriend was reactivated in June, and then brought her into the gospel and so it was so wonderful to be there and be a part of that event. She is so sweet.  Then, Linda Johnson went to the temple to do baptisms for the first time and she took her husbands name Jim Johnson to be baptized! It was so cool!! She told us of her experience and was emotional, and I could tell she felt the spirit. I was so happy for her!! So we saved another soul!! Linda is amazing!  

I am so grateful for this week. Needless to say, I have learned so much. Sometimes I wish it could go a little slower so that I could really learn and internalize everything. There is so much coming at me all the time. Sometimes it is like drinking out of a fire hydrant, which I am So GRATEFUL for! It is amazing! 

Well! Here's to the next 6 weeks! Wish me luck! I love you! #44days #soshelpimatrainer 

Thank you for everything. All your support and love and letters and prayers and concern and excitement , everything! The church is true!! 

Love, 

Sister O'Neil 

Hello my family.                                                            10/8/2014
I loved general conference! Didn't you?
There were so many aspects of general conference that I loved. Great
themes of : prophets and apostles. The sacrament. Pleasing God and not
man. Service. Personal responsibility. Asking for the truth. Paying
the price. Becoming brilliant in the basics. Sustaining leaders.
LIGHT! ( that was one of my favorites). Fortifying our foundations.
Joseph smith. The Book of Mormon. PRAYER. Families. Parenting. Truth.
Repentance. Sanctification. Decisions. Gods love. Eternal perspective.
Keeping sacred things sacred. THE ATONEMENT!
And so many other good ones. I learned so much this conference.so many questions were answered!  Some
of my favorite talks were jörge klebingat's and elder Hamulas. And
elder Scott's and president monsons. Ahh! They were all good! It was
amazing! I am sad that president Monson didn't get up and extend the
time of service for sister missionaries. But.. Tis not the will of the
lord. :) I am also sad this is my last general conference as a
missionary, so bitter sweet. Wasn't it amazing to hear all the
promised blessings?!?! Goodness! The church is so true! How could it
not be!? Seriously!

This week we did some stop bys to less actives.. Well we are always
doing that, but this week it was really funny. Anyways as we were
walking up to their door I waved at the woman inside because she was
looking out the window, and she sent her husband to the door. We get
to the door and he is waiting for us, and we asked for the person we
were looking for, and he said " no she doesn't live here, and she's
Christian, and isint interested in your cult anyway."  I was so
surprised, I think I always am when someone says something like that
to us, because I never expect it, and I sit there for a few seconds
thinking... Did he really just say what I thought he said? There was
no time for us to respond or really do much because of the slam of the
door, So I just let out my awkward/ nervous laugh and we walked away.
Haha I am so awkward! Haha it's the best!!

Tomorrow we see Meet the Mormons! ( Linda Johnson calls it, "here come
the Mormons"... Haha it makes me laugh) I am soo excited! Have I told
you that president Fenn is the best? I am so excited. Other
missionaries in our mission saw it last week, and they have raved
about it. So I am so excited! You should all go and see it!
And then this weekend is our mission tour. Elder Robert C. Gay of the
presidency of the 70 will be here. I loved it last year, and I am
thrilled about it! I love the mission tours! It is like our own mini
general conference! ( I told you I love this time of year!) and then
Saturday is the infamous transfer calls. Which means I literally have
7 weeks left. THAT... IS...INSANE!! FOR REAL. I am praying that
whatever happens I will accept and have confidence that it is the will
of the lord. There have been transfer calls that have really brought a
lot of faith to be able to move forward, but I know that this will be
great, whatever happens. I am guessing that president will keep me in
this area for my last 6 weeks, but we shall see. I will let you know.

I finished the Book of Mormon in 65 days. It was the coolest
experience to finish and then one day later attend General conference.
So awesome! My testimony of its divinity and truth was fortified. The
Book of Mormon is so true! I will never neglect it, ever! And Joseph
smith IS a prophet of God! The gospel is so amazing. As we invited
many to hear our message this week every decline I died a little
inside. It makes me so sad when people dont want to hear or learn. If
only the could realize the great blessings waiting for them if they
would just listen for a few minutes! Oh agency!!

Patricia bought us new purses. she shouldn't have. but it was a nice gesture of her thankfulness. she is so awesome. she came to one of the sessions of conference and she bore her testimony last week about how excited she is for her daughter to serve a mission! I am so happy for her! The gospel is truly changing her life. its soo cool!

 I love you all! Hope you have a wonderful week filled with missionary
experiences.

love you!

Sister O'Neil

 Happy birthday kater-bug and Abby! Hope you have a wonderful day and
eat some delish cake!

9/29/14

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER O

October is this week! Isint that crazy. I can't believe it. The time is far spent. And there is little remaining. I need to pick up the pace, do more, be more, work more, then play more. 

O'Neil's  are "HOTROCKS" 

this week i have felt a really big emphasis on the two "O"'s. 

Obedience and Optimism.

During the women's meeting I felt such a focus on covenants, temples and obedience. I have come to really learn that obedience is so important, and I want to become a more consecrated missionary. There is more I want to give, more I want to do, and more I want to be and I just have to do it. I truly felt so much of heavenly fathers love this week. I am so grateful for it. I want to be a better disciple, I want to be a better follower and I want to be more Christlike. "So much time, so little to do... Wait, reverse that!" -willy wonka. Haha anyways, they are so important and I am really grateful to have been taught there things all my life.

Owesomeness - so many things his week were just owesome!  Haha. I had interviews with president and I just loved it. He taught me so much and I felt of the great love he has for us missionaries, and really helped me to remember the love Heavenly Father has for me individually!  He helped me with some of my concerns and fears, and I had a really cool experience having some of my questions answered. Sometimes the questions we have we don't even realize we have until we are receiving the answer. I really had to be paying attention to the spirit to have received those answers. I am really grateful I was.  It was owesome.

Another two things that were Owesome this week were our two conferences. Zone and womens conference, and they were the best. It was amazing. The spirit that filled my heart when the conference started was such a wonderful feeling. I love conference and I feel so grateful this time has finally come. I love #genconf. !! Yay!

Don't worry, be happy. It has been a theme in our companionship this week. I send the same invite for you, don't worry, just be happy. :) there is so much to be grateful for and so much to bring us happiness, allow it to last, let it consume our souls! I loved the umbrella idea from the women's meeting, I have been praying that I would be able to close my umbrella more often, and see the blessings that are falling on me! They are bountiful! I need to pay more of the price to be more consecrated, to be more. 

This week we taught this really cool guy, doug. We hope we can meet with him again. He was very kind to us, and listened to all we had to say, even thought he may not be the most interested, but it was really cool, because I promised him really specific blessings, and I just knew they would come true, I just hope he did his part. 

We had to drop our family investigators, Shaun and her family. Mainly because of the contention that she felt coming from sister Henderson. And Shaun's attitude towards some aspects of the church. She felt that she was always defensive towards her, so we told her to contact us. It has been all so confusing and hard to keep our investigators keeping their commitments. The lord will provide and things will work out.

One of the funniest things that happened this week was we got this text from a random guy: well here is the back story... We were tracting in chili and knocked in this guys door and he seems like he is a little mentally handicapped, anyways we gave him our number because he seemed interested in our message. So at loaves and fish, he talked to us and then later that day he sent us a text that said " is it a sin to call a nun good lookin?" We laughed a lot at that, and then felt a little awkward inside. Haha so we haven't responded and I don't think we will, how do you deal with things like this? He is like 55 yrs old.haha anyways it was funny. 

Well I love you so much. I hope you have a wonderful week, and enjoy general conference. It's going to be the best. Love love love      Sister O'Neil 

9/22/14

HOLA FAMILIA!

Esta semana ha sido tan bueno!

He leido el Libro de Mormon en espanol, y ahora hablo perfecto espanol!

... haha...jajaja (or 555 if your thai) es broma, en realidad no!

(presented to you by google translate!- YAY for technology!)

 Well this week was pretty good. We had some great lessons and some
awesome experiences, that I am so grateful for.

on Monday and Tuesday we had exchanges with the Sister Training Leaders. they are the best! I always learn so much from them and feel prepared after our time with them!  Sister Doxey is like one of my favorite people and I was so happy to have spent that time with her. we are great friends!

On Friday we had our mission conference! it was one of the greatest experiences of my life! I love mission conferences! I love this time of year, because it is so full of conferences and then those lead into the holidays! it is just so wonderful!

I was able to ride up to Naperville with the lovely Sister Oliphant! I love her so much! She and her companion and the Hermanas that serve in their area, it was a fun trip. I love sister Oliphant so much, she has faced great trials in her time as a missionary and her calm strength is so inspiring to me. she has so much faith and trust in the Lord and knows it will all work out. I quote her so often, when she said "its all ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end"  but to me that is just a simple example of the great amount of faith that she has. She bore her testimony at the conference, and I was so grateful for it. I love her so much.

So President talked to us about the coming forth of the book of Mormon. It was fitting because just yesterday was the anniversary of the appearance of Moroni to Joseph Smith, and today is the anniversary of when he received the plates. It is such a wonderful time to be alive. I learned so much, and learned from the spirit as well. it was so good! do you know the real purpose of the book of Mormon? most people would say it is to be another testimony of Christ and help us come to know him, well while that is true it is not the full purpose. and there is one greater. it is to teach us of the covenants that God makes with his children. 2 nephi 3 or Mormon 7:8-9 it is to come to a knowledge of the covenants and then to be gathered home. Gathering of the house of Israel! so cool! my mind has been blown since this. and I have learned a lot. hope you do to!

He issued us another Book of Mormon challenge. I am finishing my copy of the book of mormon now and will finish on the 3rd of October, and then I will start my challenge and finish before Christmas, you should all do it with me. Get a new fresh copy of the Book of Mormon and mark the following.  In RED: Mark conversion, qualities of it, stories of lives changed and being born again. In BLUE: teachings on covenants and the house of Israel. Finding examples of covenants God has made with his people and the blessings they receive. And in YELLOW: how to teach others to come unto Christ. Teaching skills and examples of great questions. Qualities of good leaders who taught their people.

I love these topics. I am excited to learn about them as I read. Get a fresh copy and GO! you can start now, you don't have to wait until October 3rd.

And then I got to ride home with sister Oliphant and sister ashby again! and They are both PHENOMENAL singers and very musically talented, so when we got to the church, we had a few minutes to kill, so we sang some songs together. I recorded them! you can listen when I come home! :) #10weeksleft! #Ilovemail #hinthint #iloveyouall! :)

so my mini-mexico experience!... Remember when I had my day in mini-mexico last year, like right before thanksgiving. that was totally preparing me for Saturday! It was so cool. and such a fun experience! Ok, well first I need to preface this story by telling you that I really don't know Spanish, like at all. haha I like to pretend that I do, and try and I feel I work at it when the opportunity presents its self, but in reality I know probably about 20%of what they are saying and I know how to say even less than that. hahaha.  Sister Maribel Castro Ventura was baptized in June, and we she invited us over for dinner. she was taught by the Spanish elders, but she knows perfect English. so we went over there for dinner and she wanted us to eat with her sister and their family who don't speak any English - well hardly any. I FORGET HOW MUCH THEY FEED YOU! it was insane. I was so FULL! side note, anyways, we get to the end of eating, and we told Maribel that we had a lesson for her, but she had to go so she left us with her family.. who don't speak English. and we don't speak Spanish. so it was pretty interesting, from the moment we sat down together I had been praying in my heart that Heavenly Father would help me remember the few things I did know in Spanish and be able to understand one another and deliver our message with the spirit. so I asked Maribel for a copy of El Libro de Mormon, and I read to her sister a few versus from Enos in Spanish. it was pretty good. she had a few questions. she had met with the Spanish elders before and had asked them all her questions. later in the lesson she became a little contentious and her heart was hardened when we tried to explain why we read from the book of Mormon. She kept bringing up so many versus and things from the bible and looking for what we had to say about it, and every time president Fenn would go through my head "the bible is not common ground, it is battle ground." so we would tell her why we believed in the book of Mormon after every question. through out the lesson I was totally speaking Spanglish. haha maybe I shouldn't have, but I would speak English and then when I new a word in Spanish I would say it. haha but she seemed to understand us. at the very end I knew I needed to tell her my testimony, so I did, and I said the whole thing in Spanish! It was so cool! It was very basic, but the spirit was so strong.  this whole experience gave me such an appreciation for all those missionaries who work so hard to learn another language. It is hard work, and I am grateful for all they, and you (my siblings) do to learn that language and use it to teach others about Christ. It is so awesome! I know the gift of tongues is real. for those brief moments I was able to understand and I felt the spirit working with me.  we invited her to put all her questions aside and open her heart to hear the message the elders can share with her. I understand how scary it can be and the faith it can take to learn more about God, especially when you have been taught something your whole life. 

another thing I learned about myself is I really dislike it when people try to make me feel ashamed that I was raised in the gospel. It is so annoying.  a lot of people on my mission have made the comment "oh well that is all you know" or "that is all you know," "you don't know any different, how do you know if it is true or not"  I know its true by the same way you will come to know it is true! I have started telling people who say that to me " I am not ashamed of being raised in the gospel and of being a member of this church, it is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for, and I feel heavenly fathers love to know that he placed me in a family that has these beliefs and taught them to me." In some ways it is a small example of standing for truth and righteousness and it is such a small tactic that Satan uses to make us feel ungrateful or ashamed of the things that are blessings in our lives. to that is say HA! Satan HA! "you are SO dumb! you are really dumb, FOR REAL!"

I know the book of Mormon to be the word of God. I am so grateful that I have been raised in  a home that has taught me in the fullness of the gospel. I am grateful for the priesthood authority and all of the immense blessings I have receive from our Heavenly Father. This church is true! joseph Smith is a Prophet of God! 

love you all!

hope you have a wonderful wonderful week, full of awesome missionary opportunities. - are you praying for them?

General conference is so soon! have you written down your questions?    

love,

Sister O'Neil   

9/15/14

The fall season is here, in its finest. we have had thunderstorms a lot of this week!-- super fun! and the cold comes at night.  about noon everyday till about 3 it is SO beautiful outside. yesterday after church we did our studies outside because It was so beautiful. I learned a lot about Jesus Christ- being the creator and about light.  its all so amazing and wonderful. The church is so true and I love being a member of it. !! YAY!

have you started your "questions for conference" yet? I have! I always make a list of questions, and every session they are all answered! you should all give it a try and be ready to learn.  Because the Lord will be teaching us! YAY I love #genconf  !! :)

well, this week was an ok week, as far as the missionary work of things goes.  we didn't have too many lessons, we did a TON of service for members. it was all for our recent converts and less actives so that was really good.  We are working with one sister, who I really like and get along with, anyways she is a return missionary and just makes up excuses all the time to why she doens come to church or anything, so we felt inspired to call her on Friday and re-invite her to the women's conference for Saturday and I told her if she came we would help her clean out her garage, so she came! and she loved it! she said she felt the spirit and came away uplifted.

So we helped with her garage and there were SO MANY SPIDERS! oh! it was so creepy. I didn't think I had such a fear of them. hahah I even feel funny for typing that.. but I mean there were so many, you would not believe it. so we helped and it looked really good! and then she fed us delish Jimmy johns! ( I thought of Chris).  that was good. she came to church the next day! YAY!

Have I told you that my companion is a beast?  She does martial arts kajukenbo (caujew kenbo) anyways, it is how she lets out a lot of her frustrations and anxieties. so she uses a punching bag - when she can find one to let it all out. our Bishop has one in his basement so we went over there and she just let it all out. it was intense. she taught me some techniques and I just felt really silly... I took video... of her.

They had stake women's conference here this week, it was really wonderful. I learned so much about who I am as a daughter of God and my divine nature and destiny.  It is amazing, and I cant really put into words all that I learned, but I know it to be true. I am so grateful for the many wonderful women in my life who have exemplified great qualities, and have helped me to understand this eternal destiny we all have.  I think the coolest and most thought provoking thing I learned and realized was that where there are holy men, there must be holy women. think of the great prophets and apostles we think and learn about and the promises made to them. we always associate the men, and rarely do we think of the women who are behind supporting those men. It is just so amazing! so over all I am grateful to be a daughter of God. " the crowned jewel of creation."   The Church is true! :)

I also went a class about scripture reading with kids. she gave us a paper with lots of good ideas. I will send it to one of you ( my sisters) and will you send it to the other fams?  or better yet, I will send it to mom, and she can forward it to you! :) thanks mom!  might help if you are looking for fresh ideas to read scriptures together!

This upcoming week we will have a mission conference! I am so excited!!  I will see all my lovely friends-- at least the ones still here in the mission! and we  will be talking about my favorite - JOSEPH SMITH!-  its gonna be great!

This week I also really learned the importance of family history. I have set goals and am planning to be better at that when I get home. I have never really done it. because it is "all done" but really its not. So I am excited to learn more about our family and where I came from. It is such a blessing to have the heritage that we have!

There is so much to learn in this life, It is amazing.

 

Basically this week was a lot of healing, and rejuvenation, ( for some of us...)we worked hard, and the Lord is blessing us. There are many miracles everyday!

the work is great!

I love you all! I love being a missionary!

you can be missionaries too! :)

love,

Sister O'Neil

9/8/14

Superb September

ok I have the most annoying bug bite on my foot. it itches like crazy,
and then it swells and when I walk it feels like I am walking on one
of sheets of bubble wrap. trying to pop it. anyways.. gotta love the
Midwest.

ok, this week has been a real rollercoaster, SO STRESSFUL but so much
fun. And it is all so worth it. now that it is over I am so grateful
for it, and I learned a lot about myself, how to work with others,
being humble, working hard, how to communicate better and be a
peacemaker and the list goes on...

I don't remember if I told you about Shaun and Tarus and their family
or not, but we found her as we were walking to our car one night, and
she and her family were a sincere answer to my prayers. I have been
praying we would be able to find and teach a family and get them into
the gospel. this ward needs more families to support the ward.
anyways, we taught them twice this week, they were both really
excellent lessons. Carmella (9 yr old) is so close to the spirit, she
was so happy when she heard about the plan of salvation, and at the
end of our lesson we sang them "Child of God" and she just started to
cry. and Shaun kept saying I need to get my family here, my mom needs
to hear this.  The spirit was strong./
then at our next lesson Tarus (her boyfriend/fiancée) was so engaged
and they all are just so interested and wanting to learn and change.
it is awesome! they had good questions like how do you know a prophet
when they say they are a prophet? and we served them by helping them
put away their groceries. ( the profiles are correct, all black people
love fried chicken, and they are proud of it.) haha so we put away a
LOt of chicken. we taught them about the power of fasting and invited
them to join us on sunday.  they agreed and we floated out of that
lesson, and was so grateful for those experiences.. AWESOME!!

Tuesday was transfers.. so we didn't have as much planned because we
were unsure when we were planning.. anyways. It was a stretching day.
Basically what happened, is that there was a member in our ward
(African American) , who feels offended and is still hurt because of a
mistake my companion made.  Well, lovely Sister Henderson is so sweet,
but can sometimes be very brash and bold and come off as not very
loving, and she knows it, and so she is working on this weakness and
is doing her very best.  Well, we go to this members home and she
thought we were there to resolve things that happened a month ago,
(that I thought had already been resolved) and so she went off on us.
she didn't yell, but her words were not very kind, and there were a
lot of confusing things she brought up. She expressed to us a lot of
her frustrations, and after pondering about it I have come to realize
it is a weak spot in her testimony. She pointed everything at us (I am
sure it is because we are an easy target as missionaries) - that all
the weight of her problems was because of what WE had done, when in
reality it is because she doesn't understand and is somewhat hard
hearted. her pointing things at us didn't help sister Henderson feel
any better about her self with her self confidence and anxieties, and
so she became defensive. Needless to say, CONTENTION was present...
and I just sat there as they went back and forth, with everything to
Joseph Smith, to the infamous "blacks and the priesthood" to "why
don't you preach Jesus Christ?!"  and everything in between. I
immediately pulled out the Book of Mormon and held it in my hands just
for the strength and power that come from it,.. it is like a security
blanket for me now.. haha seriously.  I played mediator, and felt like
a judge in a court room, saying "its her turn to talk," "ok now its
her turn to talk" finally I just gave up. I had been praying the whole
time the lord would tell me and lead me what to do, and so I just sat
there in silence as they bickered. finally I had had enough, so I
opened the Book of Mormon to a random page and just started reading.
just happened to be  Mosiah 2:9-12 and then I skipped to 15-17.  The
spirit I know quieted them, it flooded the room, and taught them each.
I closed the book and said a prayer, the scariest part was right in
the middle of the prayer, her son (who was in the other room) yelled
out SUPER LOUD in a deep deep voice the F word, and it made my whole
body jump. it was like a bomb going off. There are so many parallels I
have pulled from this experience.  it was so hard.

then on Wednesaday we taught Jennifer. She lives in the south side,
the DEEP south side, where it is dangerous.. kinda exciting if you ask
me. We have to tell the zone leaders when we are going and when we
leave and we are not supposed to go there after 4:00 and anyways, we
have pretty good lessons with her. she is something else.. just
imagine for a moment a Queen Bee.  In every sense of what a queen bee
is, she is just that to all the men in the neighborhood. hahaha its
crazy!  people on the south side,(at least the ones we have met) are
very nice and respectful to us. they understand who we are as servants
of The Lord, and are grateful for what we do.  Basically everyone
needs the gospel and she has a desire to change. I don't understand
when people know what they are doing is wrong and they still do it, at
least when it is something that severe. I mean we all do that to some
degree... that is why the atonement is so important and so real. she
is not yet making big changes in her life, but it will be by small and
simple steps for her. It has been great because she has introduced us
to a lot of her friends that we have started to teach and referred to
the elders. its great! I will keep you posted on her and the
adventures in the south side.

Two more stories,

Erica is another investigator we really started to teach this week.
She has quite the past as well. She served 3 years in jail because she
shot a man 5 times and then gave him CPR to keep him alive. He was
breaking into her house and did some other things that I don't need to
mention, so she shot him.... 5 times, she has had a really rough Life
and I am grateful I am not responsible for judging her and all that.
But we had some great lessons, she loves the Book of Mormon and loves
learning with us. We read Enos with her and she identified with his
words, and testified that she knew it was true. She came to church
with us and loved it, participated in class and loved meeting new
people. It was such a good Sunday for her.

Sunday was extremely stressful, Erica was great and taken care of, but
it was Shaun, during sacrament she was talking loudly, and I know
people we looking at her, because they were probably wondering who it
was. she wandered the halls saying she felt a spirit of the devil
there because she felt unwelcome and judged. That people just stared
at her, and didn't say hello.  Her husband loved church and loved the
spirit and kept saying "she will come around."  Anyways she ended up
sitting in the hall and wandering down to the nursery where one of her
daughters was, and the leaders asked her to leave, anyways it was just
super overwhelming and all Sunday I was praying in my heart things
would work out, and sometimes i felt the weight of the world that
everything depended on me, then Those thoughts from the adversary
creeped in and I feared the members would think less of us because we
broth this "crazy lady" to church. Sister Henderson and Shaun got into
a disagreement, so I was the middle man again, and had to resolve
things, and honestly the entire 3 hour block I was on the brink of
tears, faithful everything would workout, but stressed and frustrated
but I didn't want anyone to know I was about to break down because
sister Henderson was already crying. So I silently struggled, until
sister Wynn ( one of my favorite people ever) just gave me a hug, and
I broke down and she just gave me the best motherly hug ever. I was so
grateful, and just an exemplary act of Christlike service, I am so
grateful, makes me cry just thinking about it... Anyways, that was
deep, I usually don't share those things with you, but that was a
really hard day. And as I said before I learned so much and I am so
grateful for it. I have learned a lot about African American culture
and their temperaments and a little insight to their perspective and
trials they face as  blacks in America. I hope that very trial I face
I can face the way I faced this one, while the whole experience was
hard and I don't desire for myself or others, I felt so loved and
strengthened through the whole thing, I really felt the spirit with
me, and a calmness, even when I was faced with the very worst fears
and anxieties. I am grateful for the atonement and that it covers
everything we go through. The Lord loves me. I know it. I know he is
mindful of me and cares deeply and is always there to help us deal
with others and show them love even when it is hard.  And I know the
same is true for each of you. I love being a missionary. I am grateful
that I am on a mission today, in the service of the lord. 78 "todays"
left. I am going to make them count and just enjoy the moment.

This church is true, don't forget it, and do all you can to nurture
your testimonies of Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon.

Love you all,
Sister O'Neil

I am so excited! This week we have women's conference and zone
training and just so much good stuff!

We held a lot of animals this week and did a lot of service.  Mowing
the lawn, painting, etcetera. I sent pictures. :)

Hope all that makes sense. Let me know if you need clarification. Have
a great week!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!  Hope you have a wonderful day! Love you a butt ton! :)