PONDERING                                                            11/17/14

Dear Family,

The cold has come.  We are enjoying a nice high of 20 degrees today with strong winds out of the south. so we are pretty cold here, and today is the one year anniversary of the Tornado... and it was not this cold last year when we were doing tornado clean up. so it seems like it will be a cold winter.

There is the is man we always talk to when we come into the library, sister Henderson and I always called him the chicken man because he always sits in the front and eats a whole bucket of KFC chicken while he has his earphone plugged in. Anyways,, for the longest time we thought he was homeless, because he kinda looks like it, but then recently we saw him leaving the library and he got into the nicest car in the parking lot. it was so funny, and so surprising. anyways, today he is wearing his pajama bottoms and a "Washington strong" shirt, that many people have and are probably wearing because of the tornado anniversary. he is a really friendly guy and so funny.  it just teaches me a lesson bout how we should never judge someone by the way they appear, and not to make up judgments of what we think their walk of life is.  I think what is so powerful and interesting is that heavenly Father provides experiences in life to teach us the same lessons over and over again.

I am loving the experience of training, I love being able to bear my testimony of this work so boldly and surely to someone who is so new and unsure, and still trying to find their way. It has brought me to think a lot about the wonderful blessings and experiences I have received  and how I desire those same experiences and feelings for her. she has truly grown so much in this short time we have been together and I am so proud of her.

On Saturday Sister Gappmayer called us and asked us to prepare to give our testimony in relief society because the lesson was on missionary work.  sister Sullivan went first and was very honest in her testimony about how it was hard and she felt unsure about the experience, but the spirit was there and I was just so happy for her. Speaking in general to new people is a hard task for her, but she is truly coming out of her shell and allowing her personality to show. her testimony almost brought me to tears, because of how much she has grown, even though It has been hard for her. it has caused me to think back to the beginning  of my mission and look back on all the ways I have grown and the difficult challenges I have faced, grateful for them because they have all been worth it to me.

I didn't think I would be so emotional to have this experience end, but I think about all the people  I love here in Illinois and how I don't want to leave them. I just want to stay here with them and just sit and watch as they grow and become greater disciples of Christ.

We have been privileged to teach Destiny Sutton. She is a sweet girl, who lives over in Washington, IL and has a great desire to learn the gospel. she wants to be baptized she just wants to make sure it is the right thing, in one week she read to 1 nephi 13 and is still reading strong. She has a great way of restating everything we teach her in her own words, so we know she is understanding and what she is not understanding. It is so wonderful to meet people who have such a desire, and I love helping them understand the power of their faith. and encourage them as they try to act on it. one of the greatest things I have learned from teaching the gospel is that we, as mortal men, are afraid to sacrifice and so we pull back or we stop ourselves. I know that the blessings and the love we want and need from our Heavenly Father are just on the other side of that bump and despite our doubt and fear, we need to trust that he will provide. I testify that he will, he always provides and he always shows his love. I know these things are true, I know "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven" the sooner we receive of those blessings the sooner we will feel our burdens lifted and our load lightened.

This week I asked the Elders for a blessing, I had been struggling with a few things and it was one of the most powerful blessings I have ever received. I felt the love and embrace from our Heavenly Fathers so powerfully and tangibly, yet it is hard to describe. It is funny because before I received it I felt the spirit prompt me and teach me some of the things I would be counseled about in my blessing, and I didn't share them with anyone, and those very things were mentioned and my mind was enlightened as I listened to the words that were spoken and the feelings I had. I felt a greater ability to face those challenges and my heart was calmed as I was reassured that the tools I have to do these things would suffice, and that I could place my trust in them.  I knew then, as I know now, that God loves me. He is aware of me and is always mindful. He desires for our success and the enabling power of the Atonement is what brings us that strength and faith that we can do the things we know we should do, even when it is hard.

Sister Sullivan is really sad that I am going home. Getting a new companion for her will be a hard change, but I have reassured her that I will be a support and strength for her. I want her to feel successful and happy, but I have also testified of the trials that are ahead of her. Today and tomorrow and Wednesday we are going on exchanges with the Sister Training Leaders, and she is really nervous about it. she will be great.

We taught this guy Davtone this week, and he is really interesting, he is so paranoid about things in the media and signs and symbols.  He believes that the Luminoti (sp?) is back and all these weird things. he likes to ramble a lot and so we get to see a lot of his fears, anyways we had a very powerful lesson with him about the restoration and at the end he said he needed to fast and pray about these things.  The greatest part is he understands the significance and importance of the message and how he will have to change his life if he comes to know that it is true. So we are praying and hoping that he will do his part and come to know these things.

We got our car back on Friday and so for two days we had two cars!! it was awesome!! I would smile and look at sister Sullivan and say "which car should we drive this time?!" haha it was fun. Now the elders have the truck again till Wednesday. so I attached a picture of me and the two cars! pretty fun! and of course I took a photo-shoot in the truck! I love that truck! :) so much fun this week.

I just want to please the Lord. I just want to do his will. I just want to work hard to the end. I just want to have the spirit in my life for the rest of my life and be led as I have been. I just want to never leave Illinois (except for maybe a few months when it is cold) I just want to be a consecrated missionary. I just want to see miracles and have my testimony strengthened ten fold. I just want to be a missionary forever.. "I want, I want I want!, me ME MEE  NOW! NOW! NOW!!!"  Why are we as natural men, so prone to sin and transgression, when we desire so much more of our selves and for our selves? it is our natural state to make mistakes and to aspire for things greater than ourselves. And OH How Great! the goodness of our Lord that he atoned for us. OH HOW GREAT his love and wisdom.

This church is true. The Book of Mormon is true. Joseph Smith is a prophet of God.  Gods authority is on the earth. Families can be together forever. Our Savior Lives, and loves us.

What else do you need in life? 

I love you all, I thank you all for everything. I love this work, I am sitting here crying like a baby because I have to come home.  ( not because I don't love you , but because I have to leave.)

Love,

Sister O'Neil

MADELYN!! my little NIECE.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I cant believe you are 9 years old!! I am so happy! YAAY!! I love you and I will see you in a few days!  have a safe trip to California!  ( your bday present is a big hug from me!! hahah lucky you!! )

love you!

Dear Family!     11/10/14    A   TRUCK! Yes! that is right! We get to drive a truck for the next week!! I have been SO excited about this! I don't even know why I love it so much, it is just fun to go from a Toyota corolla to a truck!! it is AWESOME!! We dropped our car off at the shop to be fixed this morning because someone walked on it. haha I think I told you about that a few weeks ago, anyways.. it is great! Sister Sullivan can tell you! I have been SO excited! Sunday was so good! I have really come to realize (again) how much I love singing. like.. so much! I am so grateful for my talents. :) Sister Crespo asked me to sing at their Christmas party, and I said I wouldn't be able to and she said "WHAT! your being transferred?!" and I said, YEP! back home... haha" on Monday we went to the Wys families home. theya re awesome! and I am not really sure why they are not active anymore.. anyway, Sister wys (Janet, the mom) her DREAM is to come to the rose parade, so I told her about our connection to it and so she has prepared a list of questions to ask me! I told her she should come this year, because I would be there. I was sure to mention I would be busy but that I could help them! hahahha she is excited. and then her daughter Tammy Wys knows Cinnamon McNeil ( wendys friend) so we shared that little connection.. ( so Wendy when you read this tell Cinnamon, tammy says hi!) haha I told her all about Jills fascination with her and how for like a whole year she kept telling Wendy how she wanted to meet her. It was awesome. (the Mormon world is so small!)  Tammy lived in Burbank for like 4 years. Anyways they are awesome and they came to church on Sunday! that was so exciting!  and so many people welcomed them and were so glad to see them! that's the way it always is, the church is so true! :) Tuesday we went to New missionary training in Naperville! it was the best training meeting I have ever been to. they truly are the best meetings in the mission. and I was so grateful that I was there. it was awesome, President was so goofy and just happy, and gave us some of the best advice. and then he provided snacks for us, and sister fenn was out of town, so he got us dunkin dounuts and just tons of food! it was hilarious. haha anyway, he ate a donut and then half way through the meeting he left again, didn't really think much of it, and then came back and he proceeded to teach us for 3 hours, and HE WAS HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!! he had gone home to give himself an epi-pen.  I was so amazed. he sacrifices so much for us. and to do the will of the lord, I love his example and I am So eternally grateful I was able to serve under his direction and to feel of his love.  he is strong! "im stong like bull" - P. Fenn. haha I think the funniest part was when the tornado siren went off... (it was the first Tuesday of the month so it is when it always goes off) but he stood up and boldly said " ive been here long enough to know what that is.... its the first Tuesday of the month.. which means, RUSSIA IS DROPPING A BOMB ON US!!  EVERYBODY RUN!!!" hahahahaha!! it was hilarious then he goes " Sister Fenn isint here, I can be a little immature.. DONT YOU TELL HER!!" hhaha  and I am positive these new missionaries were half terrified and half kinda amused and then just didn't know how to react. hahah I just remember how terrified I was of President when I came into the mission, so I cant imagine what I would have done if he had done that when I was as new as Sister Sullivan. hjahahaha so hilarious. SO FUNNY!! I love him! ahh it was such a good meeting! I wish I could have gone to more of them as a missionary.  Wednesday I taught in district meeting. it was good. I talked about the importance of self critical analysis and the difference between self-analysis and self-degradation. I have learned a lot about that as a missionary, so it was a good exercise to put all my learning together and try to present it and lead a discussion. it was led by the spirit, that's all I can say. I loved it. I felt so proud of sister Sullivan, she was asked to talk about faith all by her self. She did a great job despite her nervousness. it was a very good discussion! On Sunday we gave a church tour after church. It was amazing!! It was to Destiny, and she is now a new investigator, she accepted to be baptized this month! so we are now going to help her work towards that. she is seriously so ready and so golden! its amazing! and the tour went well and then we taught her again that day more about prayer and moroni's promise. she is great!! and she agreed to read an pray! It has been a humbling experience to be a trainer, she has good questions that keep me on my toes. and I have to really help her and push her to get out of her quiet comfort zone. but she is doing well. its great! I love Sister Sullivan so much! we are off to go to the caterpillar museum! we are excited! I have been wanting to go there since I served in Pekin, so I am excited! love you lots! #16days. <--- that is CRAZY!! READ YOUR SCRIPTURES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS! HELP OTHERS! LOVE OTHERS! GO TO THE TEMPLE! I forgot all about this funny experience!! when we went to teach Desitny the second time yesterday, we met at the Carters home. and they have two BIG FAT CATS!! haha anyway as we were teaching the lesson the cats were climbing over the table and our books where we were reading from.. kinda annoying.but it worked out.. BUT THEN!! at the end of the lesson, we invited Destiny to pray and in the middle of the prayer I had my head bowed.. right.. and the cat CLIMBED on top of me!! I was trying to hard to shake it off and then I would just climb higher. it was so funny!! and something I never expected! haha so awesome!
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Rejoice, oh my heart! 11/3/14 Dearest family, my heart is full today!  I love our Heavenly Father. He answers prayers, sees our efforts and helps us when we need it. i just love what i do, and wish it didn't have to end so quickly. This week was great! we talked to SO many people and invited a lot, but didn't teach full lessons really. but it was great! We went out to Princeville- this cute little town in our area, and we talked to this lady Tammy, who know so much of the truth! it was amazing. she just was so friendly and so kind and told us about her story and there was so much that she said to us that were truths of the plan of salvation. so i told her, that there was so much truth in what she shared with us and that we had the answers to the missing pieces and that our message would bless her etc. etc. and she gave us her number, so we are going to see her this week. She is amazing! Ok so recently I haven't been like myself, so i have been praying that Heavenly Father would help me feel more myself - just my improved self. and so since then i have been having THE HARDEST time with English. haha seriously. I will say something that is three thoughts in one, and it really makes no sense but it is HILARIOUS!! for example. this week we went to have a new member lesson with Linda. Every time we go to her house and nock her dogs bark. well our appointment was at about 10:00 in the morning, and sometimes linda doesn't get up until later.. so we went to nock and the dogs didn't bark. so she nor the dogs heard us.. so we waited there and i decided that i would ring the door bell. As i went to ring it i commented to Sister Sullivan " i don't think the dogs heard us bark."    i paused and then just started laughing. hahaha it was hilarious! i just imagined us standing at her door step barking. haha obviously i was trying to say " i don't think the dogs heard us KNOCK." haha it was awesome. I hope its not one of those" you had to be there" situations. last Monday we carved pumpkins for Halloween celebrations! I attached a picture! #mormonnerd. it was a fun activity with sister Sullivan! and then for Halloween we had permission to go to a members home to watch a movie. so the Gappmayers invited us over and we watched 17 Miracles. It was so good! i loved it and cried. I love the Gappmayers. they are one of my favorite families out here and just amazing. she made us homemade butternut squash soup - that had the MOST delicious Thai twist. :) it was heaven! and we helped make an apple crisp. It was a great Halloween. They only got one group of trick or treators. _have i told you they live on a lake? well it is really pretty, and we went down to their little dock. it is SO BEAUTIFUL.. i want to buy their house. it is so cool. Ok Saturday and Sunday were my favorite days this week. - i feel like they always are. they are the best! - so we had stake conference this week, so i was able to see a lot of people from Pekin. it was great. There were some people that didn't come and i was really sad i didn't get to see them. but i will again soon... some how..  i was able to see sister Oliphant, probably the last time i will see her until we are both home. kinda sad. :(  but she is doing well and has blossomed so much. I was commenting to Sister Sullivan that i just see a greater amount of confidence in her and it makes me so happy. i love her so much. I received the most wonderful news at conference. I talked with brother and sister Smallwood from the Pekin ward, and they told me about Sister Haynes. Sister Haynes is sister Smallwoods mother and we met with her for a long time while i was in Pekin, because her only goal was to become active enough to go to the temple. So we wanted to help her. For 4 weeks we called her ever night to encourage her to go to bed at 10:00pm so that she could wake up everyday at 8:00 so that when Sunday came she could wake up for Church.  we strived to help her see Church as the end goal every day of the week. some days I just wanted to give up because she would purposely not answer her phone because she knew it was us. and for 3 weeks she didn't come to church, and she finally did my last sunday in the Pekin ward. It made me so happy. So after all of this, i left the area and didn't really think much would happen with her, (how sad is that.. "oh ye of little faith!") And Guess what! Sister Haynes went through the temple on the 25th of October!! I was so happy!!   I could believe it. If nothing else it has really given me a testimony of being consistent and persistent, and that truly no efforts we put forward, to bring others to Christ, are ever wasted. It is all worth it. it is truly a blessing to see these efforts bless others lives, and it was something i didn't have to wait for the eternities for. I am so happy!! on Saturday before stake conference we went and "chalked the walk." There is a path behind our apartment building that many people use, so we decided it would be good to draw the plan of salvation out on this, so we did. We talked to this old couple briefly, but they weren't really interested and kinda looked at us weird. haha but over all it was a great experience. Dailie and Eliza Jeffs came with us. They are awesome. i love them so much. I love the Jeffs family. speaking of them. I will be singing with Eliza next week in church and dailie will play the piano for us. We are singing the Olive tree. Should be good! they are awesome. ok well lots of finding people to do! i love you all! thank you so much for your love and support! I love being here!  Ask to see the lords hand in your lives. there are so many tender mercies we will let you see if only we ask. "ask and ye shall receive"  "Bark and it will be opened unto you." haha ok maybe that was sacrilegious... sorry. haha love you!! love,  Sister O’Neil